(no subject)

One of the few times my therapist laughed at me as when I asked him if it was possible I was a narcissist or a sociopath. I mean, he only hears what I share. Narcissists are great at telling people what they want to hear, right? I mean, to him I say I care about people, but I avoid people and get easily distracted and I'm kinda shit at emotional support. What defines me? how I think or what I do?

He has repeatedly assured me that:

a) even asking means I'm not
b) see a)
c) he suggests I'm hyper-tuned to people, which makes social discomfort extra uncomfortable.
d) it's all anxiety preventing me from connecting and feeling guilty for things beyond my control


Then I see how much of a shithole the world is and I'm just helpless. I've been joking about Trump's new Space Force nonsense. It's obviously a distraction from rationalizing concentration camps for children. And Ford has started to state his intentions. My friends and people I don't know are going to suffer from this. I can't even take care of my own shit. But my own shit is insignificant to all this. I've done absolutely nothing and I'm out of ideas.

I was eating breakfast and watched a show with eel farms. Now I feel bad about liking ugani.